This a big fat collection of rants which I shall update every time I find something new to rant about. I encourage y'all to post your own rants in the comments.



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The Star Wars prequels SUCKED. And not just because of Jar Jar Binks. What's the best way to ruin one the most awesome villains ever? Make a bunch of movies about how he used to be a whiny teenager. NOT FUNNY. NOT FUNNY AT ALL.



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There are few things on dA that irritate me more than people bawwwwing about what's commonly known as "fave and run." I suppose I can sympathize with these people to an extent; I do like getting comments... But really, is it such a terrible crime to fave without commenting? I'm guilty of it. Mainly because I can't always think of anything good to say and would rather not make myself look like an idiot by posting a one word comment or a random emoticon. SO CONSIDER THAT NEXT TIME YOU BAWWWWWW ABOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH COMMENTS.



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Dear Christians,
If you absolutely must worship Jesus, could you do me a little favour and TRY TO HAVE SOME GODDAMN HISTORICAL ACCURACY IN YOUR DEPICTIONS OF HIM?! I am SO fucking sick of Jesus being portrayed as some blonde, blue-eyed, FRIGGIN' ANGLO-SAXON. WHAT THE HELL. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a white guy running around the freakin' Middle East? A lot of people attribute this phenomenon to artistic license. This so called "artistic license" seems more like an excuse for hardcore fundies and KKK-esque groups to keep their white supremacist ideals while following a religion based on the teachings of a Jew. Oh yeah. I went there. That's right Christians; it's the horrible truth! Your saviour was one of those dirty, greedy, hook-nosed, good-for-nothing KIKES!

Anyway, I think my point is clear. STOP MAKING JESUS WHITE.



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This rant is about cartoons. Let's face it, most cartoons made after 1995 SUCK. The older cartoons were the best. Like Looney Tunes and the first few seasons of The Simpsons. Some newer cartoons are good; most are just a load of crap. So it's already been established that the best cartoons came before 1995. The question is this; which of the OLD cartoons are the best? Most would say: "Disney, of course!"
I beg to differ. Disney's got nothing on Looney Tunes. Don't believe me? Most of the classic Disney movies were just old fairy tales censored to make them G-rated. The Little Mermaid is a perfect example. In the original the mermaid had her tongue cut out and at the end she actually died. The Disney version ended with Ariel and the prince getting married and living happily ever after. Typical Disney.

And that's why I root for Looney Tunes. In what other cartoons will you see crossdressing rabbits and singing frogs? Not in Disney, I'll tell ya that! And the best thing? Looney Tunes never had any cheesy moral lessons or anything like that. It was just pure graphic violence involving anthropomorphic animals!

Besides, Speedy Gonzales would kick Mickey Mouse's ASS. Yeah, I know what you're thinking; "BLASPHEMY!"
I will say it once more: SPEEDY GONZALES WOULD KICK MICKEY MOUSE'S ASS.

I rest my case. Looney Tunes pwns Disney. But I'm pretty sure that most of the people who read this will be Disneytards and disagree and/or flame me just for the heck of it.

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I'm pretty sure most of the people who 'd my Stamp of DOOM completely missed the point of the stamp. It's NOT just another Twilight bashing thing. The point was that I'm SICK of the Twilight bashing and wish that BOTH sides of the Twilight/anti-Twilight war would just shut up and move on. I guess it's a stupid thing to bitch about, but someone recently added the stamp to a collection labeled "Emo Goth and Punk." This person obviously did not read the rant in the artist's comments.

_{-Waits for flames from butthurt emo kids-}

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Before I begin this rant I want to make it clear that I have absolutely NOTHING against shipping or slash or any of that stuff. I've shipped a few pairings myself. So yeah, shippers? I don't hate ALL of you.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, this is my rant: Shipping wars. When I first heard about them I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. Hey fantards, guess what? This may come as a bit of a shock, but it's not the end of the fucking world if Naruto would rather screw Sakura than Hinata. Bashing a character just because s/he gets in the way of your precious OTP is RETARDED. They're friggin' fictional characters for fuck's sake! You're pathetic. Get a life.



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Is it just me or does almost every DC comic or cartoon ever made involves the interesting characters getting shoved into the sidelines to make room for Superman? Hell, even Batman gets royally shafted in favour of Superman. Supergirl is just as bad. Not only is she a lame sidekick that puts Robin to shame; she only exists to appease the rabid feminists who weren't satisfied with Wonder Woman. Superhero sidekicks in general are just lame and unnecessary. Except Harley Quinn. But she probably doesn't count since she's a supervillain sidekick.

_{Disclaimer: Jay does NOT hate Superman. She does think he's a Mary Sue, but she's read enough good Superman comics to hold some respect for him. She also thinks the movie is made of awesome, especially this scene.}



Something else superhero-related that's been bugging me lately: Everytime I hear someone going on about how they just love FF, my reaction is "OMG YOU LIKE THEM TOO?!" and then I feel let down when I realize they're talking about Final Fantasy. There is only one FF and that's the MOTHERFUCKING FANTASTIC FOUR. Speaking of the Fantastic Four, let's talk about the movie. It sucked hard. It sucked SO much that I can't even bring myself to rant about it's suckage. CURSE YOU HOLLYWOOD!



Now for something that is likely to piss off any X-Men fans that happen to be reading this. WOLVERINE. He's starting to get grossly over-rated. You can hardly talk about X-Men anymore without talking about Wolverine. HE'S EVEN GETTING HIS OWN FREAKING MOVIE FOR FUCKS SAKE. I blame Hugh Jackman's sexy portrayal of him. And the X-Men sequels SUCKED. The only good thing about X2 was the fact that it had Nightcrawler in it. I would say the same about Angel with X3, but he didn't get enough screen time to make the movie better. The first movie was alright though. Anything's better than Spider-Man 3. -Shudder-

Another character I like that has recently become over-rated: THE FUCKING JOKER. CURSE YOU HEATH LEDGER, THE FANGIRLS JUST WON'T GO AWAY AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. It's like all the little emo teeny-boppers quit obsessing over Tim Burton to take crappy MySpace-esque photos of themselves wearing a shitload of makeup. AND THE FANFICTION. OH GAWD. Fucking Mary Sues.

Oh well. As long as the fangirls stay away from Venom, I'll be happy. Srsly, fangirls?
LEAVE VENOM ALOOOOOOOOOONE!!!1!!11!!!1!

tl;dr - I am a shameless geek.

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So yeah, PETA think that fish should be renamed "sea kittens." Why? 'Cause according to PETA, if they have a cuter name nobody will want to eat them.



Guess we might as well start calling insects "sidewalk puppies" so nobody will step on them. And cows? From now on they shall be known as "barn bunnies."

This fits pretty well with my theory that we humans are biased against the non-cute. Don't believe me? Then why are people going to such extremes to save pandas but not lifting a finger to help coelacanths? Apparently they just aren't cute enough for anyone to care about them.

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One of the things that confuses me most about rabid animu fantards is their hatred of superheroes. I get that they hate western media in general and are convinced of Japan's "superiority", but why do they always single out superhero comics/cartoons? It confuses me because aren't those "Magical Girl" anime/manga (Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, etc.) technically about superheroes?

THINK ABOUT IT. The average Magical Girl has weird powers which she uses to protect the world from evil, has to keep these powers a secret from everyone, and wears clothes that would probably look ridiculous on a real person. That remind you of anything? Hell, you could even take it a step further and apply the same logic to the Shinigami from Bleach. They're practically the Green Lantern Corps of the afterlife! Power Ring = Zanpakuto. IT WORKS.

tl;dr - Clark Kent and Usagi Tsukino have a lot more in common than most weeaboos would like to admit.